May 2013
27 posts
boring adult stuff
Hey, I’m interested in having intelligent conversations (probably about the future and careers and other boring adult stuff like that), but not online. We have a good match and you seem to have good looks (which is important, lets face it). I have enough money to treat you to some coffee and treats or something :-P You in?
leeeeeroyyyyy jenkinssss
So how excited are you for the new season of Arrested Development?! Are you watching it marathon-style? What songs do you usually sing at Karaoke, At The Boardwalk? What’s New Pussycat?
I completely agree, who in the name of Johnny Unitas’ ghost would anyone still root for they Cowboys? I think we both still beveled in fictional characters like Santa & Jesus when they were last...
p-please respond
Hey baby, want to eat some chicken nuggets and watch Bridezilla with me? p-please respond
you don't even know me
Did your roommate do that lame thing and name her hedgehog ‘Sonic’? What an awful way to start a conversation, asking you about someone else’s business when I don’t even know you…
pirate jokes
And you want a joke? Here it is: a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants (stop me is you’ve heard this one before). The bartender looks at him quite perplexed. “Hey, doesn’t that drive you nuts?” “Arrr,” says the pirate, “it drives me nuts.”
mountain folk
Well…We’ll probably never meet. I’m almost sure of the fact that I don’t have a picture helps. But I can tell you that I watched ever episode of A.D. in two days. IT WAS AWSOME. You should check out the increasingly poor decisions of Todd Margret. It stars David Cross and Will Arnet. It’s a Beautiful comedy. Also I just Bought a yak(it took a while but I did it) and I...
hi?
lol hi dork. :)
so much smiling
Hey there (: I just got done reading your profile and I have to say I’m smiling cheek to cheek(: I’d really like to get to know you (: let’s chat! Regardless your gorgeous looking (: also I have a pretty good joke too
pretty deep
Hi, my names Jeff. Your profile caught my attention and I’d like to get to know you. I tend to get into pretty deep convos so if that’s too arduous I’d totally understand lol
son's cum
A young woman is the hostess for a party honoring her younger brother for becoming a doctor. Many acquaintances and old family friends are invited to share in on the celebration. Being a good hostess, the sister starts to make rounds and chat it up with the guest. One of the guests was the family’s next door neighbor, an old God-fearing and refined woman. The sister greets her and says...
okay?
You. I like you.
albino black girl
Why couldn’t Ray Charles read? Because he was black! I really hope you’re not like so albino black girl because you *might* not like that joke so much if you are.
struggling with indefinite articles
Hello beautiful woman !!! You have a pretty eyes and amazing smile <3
hey ho
Hey ho is your night going? Sadly it looks like I’m not getting any bonus points with you :(
nudist colony
How do you spot a blind guy at a nudist colony? It’s not hard.
a swell young black guy
You sound like you would be into a young, black guy like myself, so I was wondering if you’d like to chat with a swell guy sometime (yes I said swell :P)? Also, I think you’re unbelievably gorgeous and think we would get along great :) :) :)
soap jokes
I appreciate your many many references to Arrested Development and penises. Also you like good food. We should probably be friends. I used to be addicted to soap. I’ve been clean for two years.
i don't know what we are yelling about!!!!!
Hi my name is chris. WHATS YOURS?
......no.
after you end up with ur massage school!!!!
I want to be ur first customer plz :))
obviously i am using jedi mind tricks on you. this...
Ok I’m confused. On 3rd picture, you look short then on 6th you look way taller…
knock knock
Okay, so I have a fantastic joke, but it’s a knock knock joke and I need you to start it.
what is this i don't even
Excuse my manners I don’t mean to be rather disrespectful. However I have recently stumbled upon your page and found you to be rather interesting to say the least. Forgive me for such randomness of a message though due to certain perspectives of curiosity I was wondering if you might perhaps be interested in becoming friends? I’m curious to know if we have quite the similarities in...
...that ended on a creepy note
I do like films, my brother usually puts me into good indies to watch. I like that you have a lot of different interests, shows that you’re open to new things which is very important!!!!!!!
look, it makes jokes
Julius Caesar walks into a bar. “I’d like a martinus.” “Don’t you mean a martini?” “If I wanted a double I’d have said so!”
there has to be a better way to say that
Im afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so now Im afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
big dick joke
So let me try something naughty… I got it! What about a big dick joke? Nah! That is too vulgar… Okay, I got it how about a crude pick up line? Man: Did it hurt? Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When you feel down the ugly tree? Woman: Excuse me? Man: Don’t worry beauty is only a light switch away!
i mean it is very dirty
I would like to start with a very dirty joke… Are you ready? Are you sure? Look away now… I mean it is very dirty. There was this man and he was riding his horse. He did it every day. But today he and his horse fell… LOL Seeing wasn’t that funny? I mean just picture it this guy is a riding expect and he falls with his horse… Wait no I forgot something… O yea. The dirty part… You see the man would...
for he shall be exalted
hello your very cute . So how exalted are you for the episodes of arrested development and the movie
genital parts
I was reading through your profile and thought we would get along great. I love making sex jokes or about genital parts. I am a very blunt and honest about anything I talk about. I feel in funny, I make people laugh a lot and I’m sarcastic by default.
April 2013
18 posts
groovy greek guy
are you 420 friendly? care for a chat with a groovy greek guy?
what if, indeed...
What if I got a small, cute dog that can pitch a tent?
i really like !!!!!!!!!
Hey you sound really fun and awesome! I love hiking! I love literature and cinema! I have an off color sense of humor! I like lots of food! I try to stay fit!
...yes?
are you really a girl?
actually, no. i shouldn't.
yea my profile is lame lol, but you should message me anyways.
question
Question: Do you prefer vikings or pirates?
raging hard on
Well, talking about movies gives me a raging hard on. Mentally and physically. So yea, that was the first time I’ve ever attempted to start a conversation with a woman talking about boners. Hi, I’m Jack.
...too late
Well, here goes nothing. Side note: I’m not very successful at getting responses but here goes nothing, let’s see if I can not embarrass myself!
just a smidgen
I’m not afraid to admit that talking about and watching three of the movies you listed give me more than just a smidgen of an erection.
there's no larping in my standards
I read your qualifications for messaging you, and I exceed standards. What video games do you play? I like to larp.
would totally pollinate
8/10, would totally pollinate. ;) Like a bee on a flower in spring time on the day after enjoying a nicely cooked meal by me on a sunny day while wearing a sombrero, playing guitar and serenading you with the beautiful hymns of my people :D
oh, good. he has a career.
Can I interest you in a lovely 25 years young Italian American bodybuilder who does not have any past felony charges, loves sexual innuendos and won’t ask for sex until the 3 or 4th date lol, and yes I have a career.
...i'm running for the ocean
I said to myself this online thing is so delicate…within 2 lines of the conversation you can surmise that someone is either extremely cool and fun or make you want to delete you account and run for the ocean. In total we have 4 lines to decide if the ocean is worth running for…I’ll start…Hi :-)
sent at 2am, weds night
Let’s just skip the back and forth messaging and meet up tonight. We’re both awesome and attractive, so why not? I know it sounds like a booty call at this hour, but it honestly isn’t.
self defence
my plans and goals is to find some kind of work that will bes suit me the right way the way that I feel comfy with, and or try my best to follow some of my dreams and that is become a singer. Im also laid back with a great since of humor. I never hit a woman even if it is in self defence I wont hit a woman nor a child. I dont believe in hitting kids at all. Hit me back when you have the free...
settlement check
I am a strong young man even though I am built like a football player, but I am mainly the cuddly type while watching a good movie. I also like to cook, bake, home made meals and treats. I like going out driving no matter where it is once I have a car that is, right now I have no car, nor a license thanks to my family not helping me but no worries I am soon getting my settlement check from SSI and...
November 2012
8 posts
“your sense is humor is great, in the corn flakes kind of way.”
“I’m Larry from Delaware and couldn’t believe someone that looks like...”
“Gosh you are beautiful, you sure you from planet earth? ;-)”
“If you’re truly interested in pushing boundaries, I’d love to meet...”
“Spend my days in ORs, nights in dives. Little devil tellin me we might jive. And...”
